I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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