ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
