Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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