So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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