oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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