I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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