i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
