his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
