I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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