Buhtt sex?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He shit in the fireplace
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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