Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
