doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Alive.
So much puke
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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