at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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