who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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