I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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