i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
