my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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