i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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