i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
