I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
