saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
