I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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