When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
