i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize