i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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