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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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