So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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