Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
