On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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