How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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