marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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