benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
