Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I cockslap morals
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
