i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
