I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
