I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
