I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
