There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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