Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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