Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think your dad took our porno
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
