That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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