Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
