I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
