idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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