I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
