Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize