i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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