I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
