She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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