Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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