You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
