Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I came so hard my ears popped.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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