I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
