i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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