just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize