She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Randomize
