I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
