I think my vagina is haunted
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
