Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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