Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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